US Helps Iran! Deports 120 'Undesirables' Back to Glorious Islamic Republic
In a move that has human rights advocates scratching their heads and US foreign policy enthusiasts performing mental gymnastics, the Biden administration has reportedly agreed to deport 120 Iranians. This unprecedented act of transatlantic collaboration comes just as Tehran needs a fresh supply of 'undesirables' to… well, enrich its cultural tapestry, one assumes. The BBC, ever the impartial
observer, delicately notes this is part of Trump's 'crackdown on immigration.' Because apparently, once a policy of xenophobia is etched into law, it transcends presidential administrations, much like the commitment to selling weapons to questionable regimes. Sources close to the negotiations (likely a dusty fax machine in a forgotten State Department closet) suggest the deal was struck over a
shared love for border security – a universal language understood by both fundamentalist clerics and freedom-loving capitalists. While the US condemns Iran’s authoritarian practices, its own commitment to 'democratic values' conveniently takes a backseat when it means ridding itself of brown faces. It’s a win-win! Iran gets its citizens back, perhaps to be re-educated on the perils of Western
decadence, and the US gets to maintain its illusion of being a nation of immigrants, provided those immigrants are not, you know, actual immigrants seeking asylum. The media, of course, is playing its part beautifully, framing this as a 'deal struck with Tehran' rather than, say, 'US government actively complicit in sending political dissidents back to a repressive regime.' It’s all about the