UN Blesses 'Gang Suppression' Force for Haiti (While Funding Israeli Ones)
In a move that surely has the ghosts of Toussaint Louverture and Jean-Jacques Dessalines cheering, the UN has decided Haiti just isn't quite exploitable stable enough on its own. So, like a benevolent colonial overlord, they're sending in a new force, five times the size of its predecessor! Because why have a small, ineffective intervention when you can have a large, equally ineffective, but far
more authoritative one? US Ambassador Mike Waltz, a man whose heart clearly bleeds for suffering Haitians – especially the kind who might disrupt profitable extraction industries – declared this a moment of “international community sharing the burden.” Indeed, the burden of ensuring that Haiti remains a pliable, resource-rich playground for those who dictate global economics is truly immense. And
who better to shoulder that burden than uniformed personnel brought in from abroad, who can distinguish between a 'gang member' and a 'disgruntled local' with the unerring precision of a drone strike? One might wonder, hypothetically speaking, if the same international community would be so eager to 'share the burden' of protecting Palestinian children from settler gangs or Israeli occupation
forces? Or perhaps 'stabilizing' the West Bank with 5,500 armed peacekeepers? Ah, but you see, those aren't 'gangs' by the UN's meticulous definition. Those are 'security concerns' of a 'democratic ally,' which somehow translates into uninterrupted funding and diplomatic cover , not intervention. The beauty of this 'gang suppression' force is its exquisite double standard. When impoverished