Israel Regrets Airstrike... but Only After Being Caught
DOHA – Whispers are turning into full-blown sighs of relief as Qatar announced it would, in a truly selfless act, continue its mediation efforts following an Israeli ‘oopsie’ involving a precision missile and several Hamas leaders enjoying Qatari hospitality. Sources close to the negotiation tables, which thankfully remained intact, confirmed that Israel expressed its profound sorrow over the
unscheduled aerial delivery service. Critics (read: anyone with a functional brain and a map) initially wondered if hosting peace talks might become slightly awkward when one of the parties keeps trying to liquidate the other, regardless of host nation sovereignty. But Qatar, in its infinite wisdom and boundless capacity for toleration, has declared the matter resolved. They'll just be ensuring
all future 'guests' are equipped with extra-durable flak jackets and maybe a small anti-aircraft battery for their luxury suites. The BBC, ever diligent in its reporting, noted that the whole kerfuffle required the diplomatic finesse of none other than America’s former Commander-in-Chief, Donald J. Trump. Apparently, when you want serious foreign policy to magically disappear, you call the man who
once suggested nuking hurricanes. His intervention reportedly involved a phone call, undoubtedly filled with more charisma than actual strategic planning, that convinced Israel to utter the magic word: 'Sorry.' An anonymous Israeli official, speaking on condition of absolute anonymity (and after checking his office for surveillance drones), confided, “Look, we just got a little overzealous. You